Loni's Life

Still sad about the direction my life is taking at the moment.   It feels like it's been turned upside down and inside out... but yes, I am going through the Big D and I don't mean Dallas...  yes, it's D-I-V-O-R-C-E time. Pretty much the process so far has been a roller coaster of ups and downs; with shifts between anger, frustration, confusion, and utter sadness which has left me fairly emotionally strung out.  And though I am not liking the Reality of my situation, I am coming to Peace with it.   The attorney has been hired, the paperwork has been filed, a CPA has been consulted, and I'll be working with the soon to be ex-husband to resolve the last of financial issues.   I've even been researching new homes in the area and mortgage rates and so forth. Still, there is the piece of my heart that wishes that things could be different than where they have been or where they are currently headed... but I'll have to settle for where I am and...

Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.   ~Lori Gordon

With his 4th appearance in Survivor and a record 117 days of playing on Survivor, Boston Rob finally wins! It was an enjoyable Survivor season and I was cheering for Rob pretty much from the start.   Going into the final 4 of Rob, Ashley, Phillip, and Natalie and a passel of folks left on Redemption Island.. I thought Rob was in a pretty good position to take it all.   The girls were just riding coattails and Phillip was just nuts and had irritated enough people that he was a sure bet to go the Final 3.   Had Matt made it back from Redemption Island and through the final Immunity Challenge to get to sit in front of the Jury, I think it very well could have gone to Matt.    Still, Boston Rob played a solid strategic game and was smart enough play his Hidden Immunity Idol  (because his Mama always told him, "Better safe, than sorry.") at his last chance to do so (and he didn't even need it!).  And through the Surv...

A Turn in the Road by Debbie Macomber In the middle of the year, in the middle of her life, Bethanne Hamlin takes a road trip with her daughter, Annie, and her former mother-in-law, Ruth. They're driving to Florida for Ruth's 50th high-school reunion. A longtime widow, Ruth would like to reconnect with Royce, the love of her teenage life. She's heard he's alone, too…and, well, she's curious. Maybe even hopeful. Bethanne herself needs time to reflect, to ponder a decision she has to make. Her ex-husband, Grant—her children's father—wants to reconcile now that his second marriage has failed. Bethanne's considering it…. Meanwhile, Annie's out to prove to her onetime boyfriend that she can live a brilliant life without him! So there they are, three women driving across America. They have their maps and their directions—but even the best-planned journey can take you to a turn in the road. Or lead you to an unexpected encounter—like the day Bethanne...

This scene from Shall We Dance with Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, and Susan Sarandon resonated with me the first time I saw it... and still hits home today. The one thing I am proudest of in my whole life, is that you're happy with me. If I couldn't, if I couldn't tell you that I was unhappy sometimes, is because I didn't want to risk hurting the one person I treasure most. I'm so sorry. 

From Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston Grace's prayer: "Please God, please. I still love him. But I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want the hurt anymore, please.  Help me forget, please, help me let him go. Please, help me let him go..." ~ ~ ~ Bruce's Prayer Bruce: Lord, feed the poor and bring peace to all mankind.  How's that? God: Great, if you want to be Miss America.  Now come on, what do you really care about? Bruce: Grace God: Grace. You want her back? Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes. God: Now THAT'S a prayer.

Stormy.. that's my mood.. along with Sad... Now to pick up the pieces and move onwards as I'd like to find some Serenity...